Great post. Thanks for laying it out so clearly. I think that the push for leaders to be collaborative as similar to the push for them to be empathetic. The default leadership style is male, which tends to be less collaborative and less empathetic. So everyone says,“ oh leaders should be empathetic and collaborative!” Of course they should, but women do this more naturally, often too much. Leaders should be collaborative, empathetic, directive, decisive, etc. as is called for by the situation.
I call this the Doer Trap! When we take on busy work that we think will help us get ahead and be liked. It backfires as we are seen as the go to person but not a leader.
This is a great frame up for what I’ve thought to be true and unspoken in most places but never really saw it on paper before. Helpful way to look at day to day work while I’m still working in corporate.
Your last comment about gender role expectations is a valid one to raise. Females at macro levels are expected to be more communal, looking after the interns, managing the onboarding and helping that employee who just hasn’t found their feet yet. When they act more agenetic, focussing on landing clients, negotiating tough deals or saying no. They get classed as bossy vs their male colleagues.
I wonder how this explicit 70/30 system interacted with that effect?
@Ka I am sorry to hear that. Yes, there is a balance between advocating for your beliefs and being open to shifting gears based on the feedback of others.
I've made a lot of changes based on their feedback and they recognized it. I lost my job anyway but at least they didn't deny that it wasn't fair to frame me as the risk factor for the team when my "male?" counterpart is not professional at all and objectively poses a bigger risk to the project.
Great post. Thanks for laying it out so clearly. I think that the push for leaders to be collaborative as similar to the push for them to be empathetic. The default leadership style is male, which tends to be less collaborative and less empathetic. So everyone says,“ oh leaders should be empathetic and collaborative!” Of course they should, but women do this more naturally, often too much. Leaders should be collaborative, empathetic, directive, decisive, etc. as is called for by the situation.
I call this the Doer Trap! When we take on busy work that we think will help us get ahead and be liked. It backfires as we are seen as the go to person but not a leader.
This is a great frame up for what I’ve thought to be true and unspoken in most places but never really saw it on paper before. Helpful way to look at day to day work while I’m still working in corporate.
Your last comment about gender role expectations is a valid one to raise. Females at macro levels are expected to be more communal, looking after the interns, managing the onboarding and helping that employee who just hasn’t found their feet yet. When they act more agenetic, focussing on landing clients, negotiating tough deals or saying no. They get classed as bossy vs their male colleagues.
I wonder how this explicit 70/30 system interacted with that effect?
I am likely going to be fired soon for not being available and interruptible enough. Maybe it's because I'm a woman, but it didn't work well for me...
@Ka I am sorry to hear that. Yes, there is a balance between advocating for your beliefs and being open to shifting gears based on the feedback of others.
By the way I am looking for a job now, in no code development, and I am based in France if anybody passing by knows of an opportunity...
I've made a lot of changes based on their feedback and they recognized it. I lost my job anyway but at least they didn't deny that it wasn't fair to frame me as the risk factor for the team when my "male?" counterpart is not professional at all and objectively poses a bigger risk to the project.